However you’re most likely not actually interested in a script, since you probably understand how to phrase determining to keep a social situation politely.
We suspect what you would like is really a magical expression to make sure that the rapey asshole of a(n ex-)boyfriend will not respond poorly he dislikes, and there isn’t such a phrase, because he’s a rapey asshole if you exercise agency in ways. All you could may do on the end (after dumping their ass and locking straight straight straight down their use of you – if you are concerned you may be well advised to worry about relatiation when you dump him) is look back and see if there were any red flags you ignored, resolve to do better about breaking up with people who exihibit them right away if so, and work to change our cultural norms so that people (both would-be perpetrators and would-be or actual victims) can better recognize what constitutes sexual assault and understand that it’s categorically not okay about him reacting badly to no in the moment.
But none for this is what you did incorrect, and I also concur with the other people that the 3rd sounds like a free sex cam guy that is decentish.
(a good thing might have been in breach of one’s stated wishes, kick (ex-)Boyfriend away, and also make certain you’re safe and soon you could hook up with a pal or member of the family, though maybe not planning to risk being a target himself, particularly since my read here is that there is a significant possibility you could have sided together with your rapey boyfriend, is understandable. For him to shut your boyfriend down whenever he attempted to get him to bang you) The advice by what you can certainly do is sensible, perhaps perhaps not a project of culpability; regrettably, provided that assholes occur, there is no way that is magic prevent them completely, or even to just make them never be assholes. Live, learn, and move ahead.
Addendum: Third is eligible for his boundaries and conditions for intercourse, too; I do not also concur that insisting on condomless intercourse and making whether it’s not on offer is an asshole move.
LW was not any longer eligible to have the specific intercourse she wanted than either for the guys had been; she is entitled and then not need intercourse she does not desire while having intercourse that is mutually consensual. If he did something similar to really phone her a bitch because of this, certain, he’s an asshole, but agreeing to just have sexual intercourse under specific conditions – even ill-advised conditions like non-safe sex with strangers – and making if that is instead of offer is appropriate boundary behavior, maybe not asshole behavior. We would like visitors to keep if whatever they want – the ONLY thing they want – is not one thing one other individual is enthusiastic about doing, as opposed to, state, pressuring someone else to disregard zir stated boundaries until ze cracks.
After which i got eventually to BucksFan’s follow-up remark; fine, Third has also been an asshole. If only it had been much easier to write my ideas them to a bad connection or browser crash – that way I could go back and delete things rendered redundant or incorrect by later comments – but it’s already enough of a pain to switch tabs to check parts of the letter and scroll up and down to read comments and then type on my phone without adding in swapping back and forth between a word processing app as I go without the risk of losing.
@44: we had been disagreeing given that it did not match the thing that was stated, maybe perhaps maybe not as a result of sex. Being a female does not magically make an individual’s perception accurate or insulate one from self-serving and on occasion even just erroneous perception or recall. Yelling “Patriarchy! ” to shut any time someone down does not immediately accept a lady’s viewpoint is not feminism (not minimum because 100% of females do not concur all the time, therefore if two females disagree about a known matter of fact or jugdment, it isn’t even an alternative to trust both females by standard), it is simply imperious narcissism.
@61: he brought over here to rape me personally. If you want to phone the authorities (and therefore could be your best option in some instances), opt for, “My boyfriend is attempting to persuade another man” Re: 62, i might never be using your (ex-)boyfriend’s advice concerning exactly exactly exactly what constitutes flags that are red HAVE dumped him, no? ).